Motorcycle Man vs Buffalo
When you buy a motorcycle, one must accept that you stand good chance of having the power and speed combined with the Law of Gravity get you into trouble. I know I go too fast at times and all that, but lets be honest here, that’s all part of the fun.
So there I was riding through a nice fall like evening here in the Black Hills, dressed head to toe in motorcycle leathers. Even though it’s still August, change is in the air, and the cool winds are starting to blow. The Wild Life loop in Custer State Park is prime American auto touring, and I’d ridden it a few times before. Two hours of beautiful twisty roads, a few straight-aways with open views, deer and antelope to keep you on your toes….and then there are the buffalo.
Over the hill and ‘round the bend I come and there is a huge herd of them. Stopping near the top of the hill a good distance away, I shut the bike down. It was beautiful. Sitting there watching the buffalo herd, it was as though National Geographic was filming over my shoulder. I could hear the narrator talking in a hushed British accent about the grunting, bellowing and frolicking of the young. The Bulls swaggered about the kids and ladies. The young fought, butted heads, and chased one another around… it was grand to sit there for half an hour or so.
After having my fill of the great show, I rolled on down the road. Another mile or 2 was another small group. Riding along I contemplated the damage a fresh pile of buffalo dung could do if I hit it while leaning deep around a curve at speed. Then, just as I began to round another curve at a narrow spot where the road snakes between a few big hills….. they were there. The third group of big Bison (did I mention that some road signs read ‘wildlife at large’ but the signs in Custer State Park and Wind Cave NP read ‘Large Wildlife on Road’ ……there is a difference!). Now there was more then enough room for all of us, so I sat there for a minute letting things happen, but quickly decided that the big brown masses were going to need more space to pass. So I started pulling the bike backwards. I was very happy that the bike only weighted 500 pounds, and was short enough so I could get both feet on the ground to push…though I cursed the hill I was now pulling the bike up.
I glanced back occasionally, but mostly kept my eyes on the nervous bunch ahead of me. Things seemed to be going well, until one of the biggest of the bunch decided that I was to close. I’m not all that bright when it comes to picking up on animal behavior, but I knew that after he got tired of just starring me down, and started thundering towards me, head jerking around, nostrils flaring and the whole bit…I knew loud and clear what he was saying. Having a buffalo charging you is a terrifying experience. When straddling your motorcycle trying to see a way around the mess…wishing the hill wasn’t so steep…wanting to look over your shoulder, but unable to take your attention off the big brown eyes and pointy horns coming at you…time stops. So I had a few options going through my mind while all this was happening. I could drop the bike and run (Bad idea, as bison can run 30 MPH… lots faster the a dude in leather pants)…bluff charge him with the bike (Silver motorcyce…no horns…700 LBS smaller then him…bad idea #2)…stand my ground and slowly retreat honking my horn and revving the mean motor scooter. I chose the latter… it worked that time, but I’ll be looking at louder horns online tonight.
Now really, I didn’t get toooo scared the first time he charged me. I guess it was the farmboy in me who was used to being around animals…I figured when he headed back to the herd I’d be OK if I just kept backing off. Now the second time he charged me I was getting mighty scared. By then cars had pulled up behind the little herd trapping them in the little valley (tourist hanging out the windows, standing up in the moon-roof taking pictures with the flash on in total daylight complete the comedy). A dude pulled up behind me too…luckily the fellow got the hint when I waived him back, he put it in reverse and gave us all some space. Time was moving at a snails pace….it stood still….my teeth ground together.
The theory was that if I was going to get rammed by a bison, I wanted to have the added weight of the motorcycle between me, and my new enemy. The third time he came, I figured ‘well this is it, he means business now…. I’m in real trouble’. Twice, he’d been close enough for me to reach over the windscreen and touch his nose. Twice he’d backed off and returned to the girls. Never had he lowered his head. As he stormed toward me faster and faster I kept backing off and watching for the head to go down. Blow the horn rev the motor…wet my pants (not really, but close!). Again he stopped, stood, snorted and ultimately backed off.
Finally I’d pushed the cycle back far enough so that the little herd could run off the road…..I didn’t blink….my chance for escape had arrived. Dropped her in gear and hit the gas. No looking back. Happy to be alive, I sped around and away for all I was worth. My jaw still hurts from all the teeth gritting. If only I’d had a helmet cam…you too could feel the thunder and look into the eye of a charging buffalo, and see the reflection of one scared boy from Illinois when he stopped, snorted, and stood there looking at me....for what seemed like an eternity.
Pulling into the drive I contemplated describing that one to the insurance agent. The image of the big brown bison tossing and stomping the bike to bits is not a pretty one. Sure am glad that it wasn’t my day to die. Hopefully the tourist got some great pictures of Motorcycle Man vs Buffalo..heck, I might even be on youTube.
Daryl
www.sylvanrocks.com
Live your vacation - Don't just look at it.
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